My evil plan™ is complete

My objective is simple: World Domination.

My motive is a little bit more complex: Money

Stage One

To begin my plan, I must first expose a pope. This will cause the world to whisper among themselves, bewildered by my arrival. Who is this evil genius? Where did he come from? And why does he look so good in classic black?

Stage Two

Next, I must seize control of the Internet. This will all be done from a corporate tower, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will wet their pants, as countless hordes of computer programmers hasten to do my every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, I must send forth my corporate takeover, bringing about something that’s really mental. My name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare roll his or her eyes. Everyone will bow before my cunning intelligence, and the world will have no choice but to restore my credit rating.

(Via “So You’ve Decided to be Evil”)